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dimitri alexandre blaiddyd ([personal profile] beastlike) wrote2021-11-15 08:30 pm

[personal profile] vocitus 2021-11-22 06:04 am (UTC)(link)
[ Had the statement been left to sit a moment longer, the nuance of Byleth's response would have been very different. His tone would've been firmer, for one. As if he were hoping his insistence would somehow convince Dimitri or make up for his earlier hesitation. Peculiarly, his approach beyond that would've been more reserved. He would've only dared to take one more step, two at most, out of respect for his companion's space.

Thanks to the way the blond shifts and opens himself up, that isn't quite as necessary here. Soft footfalls precede his voice, as well as a hand he lightly touches to Dimitri's knee as he kneels. ]


It isn't a waste. [ There's a gentleness to Byleth's voice, now. One that makes its way to his features for only a scant few seconds before muted sorrow settles back in.

Before continuing, he pulls his hand away and focuses on his assessments. "Bad" feels too much like an understatement, just as the word "mild" had earlier. The bright red surrounding the cut, the slightly swollen flesh, and the length itself all point to an injury that needs more care than its received. ]


If the infection spreads, it might. [ Should he try and take Dimitri's temperature?

... No, not yet. He'll save it for when he comes back. ]
I'll need to gather some supplies to take care of this. Will you wait for me?

[personal profile] vocitus 2021-12-01 06:24 am (UTC)(link)
[ It's only when Dimitri's voice finally meets the air that Byleth realizes, given where they are, the question was perhaps a cruel one. Will you wait for me. As if finding Dimitri here wasn't an answer in and of itself. As if it wasn't a sign that, in all this time, Dimitri hadn't forgotten him. Hadn't been waiting for him. The thought felt too strange, too divorced from his reality to contemplate before now. After all, before he'd come to the monastery the concept of someone missing him in such a way never so much as grazed his periphery. Nor was he consciously aware such feelings could exist between two people.

His world had been too small for too long. Even now that it's expanded, and even after he's learned what it means to feel someone's absence so keenly, it seems like he's having trouble with such basic concepts.

Rather than leaving, Byleth remains where he is, one knee still awkwardly touching the rubble as he tries to redirect his thoughts. Somewhere along the way, a hand finds its way to his mouth, curling there as he contemplates. Seconds pass, then he shakes his head slowly. ]


No, I'm sorry. That was unkind of me. [ Remorse bleeds into his tone. No matter what his reasons may have been, he shouldn't have asked. And any explanation he could give now feels too much like an excuse to his mind. ] You shouldn't have to wait on me again. Not here.

[ Not even for this. Admittedly, he's still wary of forcing Dimitri to move with those injuries, but it isn't as if Dimitri planned on staying here overnight anyway. ...

He shakes even that thought from his mind. Then, he rises to his feet to reach his hand out to help the blond up. ]
Come back with me instead.

[personal profile] vocitus 2021-12-05 05:17 am (UTC)(link)
[ And now they've circled back to this. Dimitri's insistence on the cruelty of his presence doesn't convince him. Not when he feels that hand grasping at his own, overly warm even through their gloves and with a touch that's somehow so tender. He doubts the latter is Dimitri's intention, it's more his impression as the prince's (king's? By now, Dimitri should have been crowned) fingers fold over his. His own respond in kind, but he's surprised to find that the blond never shifts any weight onto his palm.

The action, subtle as it is, speaks volumes of his student's mind. Some part of him knows he should take comfort in being allowed this close at all, yet he can't help carving more. He wants—

Byleth's brows furrow and the thought is lost to him before it finishes. All he does for the next few seconds is watch their clasped hands as he waits for Dimitri to stand. ]


No, it would only be an illusion of it. [ There's a finality to the words, a firmness that shows there's little that can change his mind on this point. Ironically, it was Dimitri who planted this thought in his mind. Dimitri, who always reached out to him. Who taught him how to lead, how to care, and how to mourn. If there's anyone in this world he could never give up on, it's the man in front of him.

When he reflects on everything Dimitri has done for him, his fingers squeeze around Dimitri's hand. ]
Is there anything I should carry?

[personal profile] vocitus 2021-12-06 12:59 am (UTC)(link)
[ ... He held on too long.

Byleth's hand falls to his side, the descent slow as he ponders whether he should regret it or not. Maintaining the touch had felt right. In his mind, refusing to break contact was the same as reinforcing his desire to stay together, but if in the process he caused his companion discomfort then perhaps he'd been wrong. It's still too difficult to judge what's too far—and what actions are more akin to treating Dimitri like a child than the adult he's become.

At his side, Byleth's fingers spread before curling toward his palm. Rather than dwelling on that or the solemn way Dimitri collects his belongings, he tries to make a list of the supplies he'll need. Bandages. Water, boiled preferably. Fresh clothes, as the garments Dimitri plucks from the ground are doubtlessly too caked in blood and grime to be worn. A twinge comes from his chest at the sight of them, not that they're the worst reminder of what Dimitri has endured these past few years. Even so, the thought he'd lost a moment ago returns. He wants things to be how they were before. Back when Dimitri relied on him, confided in him, and most of all allowed him to share his burdens.

Byleth tries once more to shove such unfair wishes away. Having them in the first place is what's truly cruel. Dimitri is still Dimitri, and he's certain that there's more of the boy he used to know left than the glimpses he's seen.

When his student (former student, his mind supplies. These corrections come too slowly and each feels more awkward than the last) moves, he follows. He makes sure to keep pace with Dimitri, going neither a step ahead nor a step behind just in case something goes amiss. ]


As much as I'd like to let you rest in your room tonight, the dust and debris will only aggravate your injuries. [ Though the same can be said for most rooms in the monastery. He has been able to clean his own room and the classroom, but—

No, there's no "but." Dimitri's condition is already poor, there's no sense in placing him anywhere that might worsen it. ]
I'm afraid you'll have to settle for my room tonight. I can prepare yours tomorrow when it's bright enough to see what I'm moving.

[personal profile] vocitus 2021-12-08 05:52 am (UTC)(link)
[ Garreg Mach is a spacious place. Had the hoard been hidden somewhere else, such as one of the towering buildings or underground tunnels, he might not have spied it. Here, though. Here, he'd have trouble missing it.

Some part of him had not expected this level of clarity from Dimitri. The few times they've interacted since his resurgence, the prince has been little better than the beast Felix once thought him to be. Volatile, distant, and focused on a singular point his mind refused to deviate from. He'd feared his gentle friend had lost even the ability to care for himself, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Not entirely, at least.

Byleth eases into the room, his steps occasionally accompanied by the soft sound of rubble crunching under his boot. For the time being, he ignores them. Ignores the patches of dirt decorating the floor, the layers of dust settling on every surface, and the sharp stones littering the ground. Each makes resting here uncomfortable—and treating someone impossible. But right now, more than anything, he's happy to see he underestimated Dimitri.

He honestly thought this cache of supplies had been left by the Knights of Seiros after their last battle. His lips move before he can think to stop them. ]


I almost thought you'd been sustaining yourself on weeds. [ He'd caught the comments Dimitri would make to Dedue while they worked together, plucking them from the ground as they did their chores. At the time he'd agreed with Dimitri, but now... Now he doesn't want to imagine someone so gentle forced to live such a miserable life.

Byleth shakes his head slowly, drawing himself from his musings to concentrate on the man beside him. ]
... No, I suppose it isn't. I won't demand you stay there, even if I must insist you rest.

[ What a nostalgic conversation. Strange as it is to call it such when, to him, the last time they had this discussion was a few short weeks ago. ]

Garreg Mach was meant to be my responsibility. Tonight, I ask you leave it to me and allow yourself time to heal.

brings out a broom

[personal profile] vocitus 2022-03-04 03:00 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Halls that were once replete with life and noise are now deathly still. The silence, which is somehow much more unbearable than even the soundless void that surrounded the Goddess' throne, gnawed at him in the first few hours of his homecoming. Now, he's accustomed to it. So much so that it takes that small grunt—which feels far more human than the earlier crunch of pebbles beneath his boots—to remind him of the deafening quiet of the monastery. It reverberates in the enclosed space, or perhaps it only seems that way to his ears. Regardless, the noise attracts his gaze and he finds himself observing the set of Dimitri's jaw.

...has he said something strange? Try as he might, studying the man reveals nothing more. All it provides is a fleeting thought that the prince's features stand out even when bathed in shadow. It's only after Dimitri makes his "concession" that Byleth's eyes stray to the side.

It's a dissatisfying response for many reasons. The cathedral has seen the most decay of any space in the monastery—the dirt that envelops the room, the debris that have laid siege to the ground, and the exposed interior that allows every element within its walls. There are better choices for a respite and yet... What can he do save agree?

After all, this could be an expression of Dimitri's faith in the goddess. Though it seems more likely he is struggling to grab hold of a reason when reason no longer applies.

"There is no one here but the dead."

The statement brings a crease to his brows and, with it, a twinge of an emotion he has come to know but not yet fully grasped how to cope with. To ward the sentiment away, Byleth raises a hand to gently touch at his bangs. The gesture only lasts a moment before he shakes his head and collects the supplies he needs. Then, he heads to the door. ]


... You and I are here. [ And they are the only ones. That he hopes his students will return and reside within these halls again is foolish, sentimental, and selfish. Like Dimitri, they have surely grown and found new pursuits. They cannot, nor should they, stay students forever. Even knowing that, he cannot keep himself from wishing otherwise.

He truly is a terrible teacher. ]


This will require fresh water.